We're playing at an art exhibit this Friday featuring some of our friends; Pow Martinez, Mikey Red, Ali Alejandro and Archie Geotina. The art should be good and I'm pretty sure there's going to be free flowing alcohol all night! Be sure to drop by... Unless you have something better to do. But what is there to do that's better than this? Indie Fridays at Ponti? Wait, that might be better. Ponti always has drunk hot chicks that are DTF (down to farty). If you're not into taking advantage of indie girls at indie fridays at ponti come to nova gallery and take advantage of us. We're DTP (down to phuck, disturbing the peace, doing this properly, etc. - I just realized that wasn't funny but I won't delete it because it's funny that it's not funny, kinda, sorta, not really). BTW, I made this poster! See ya!
Clockwise from L-R: Julius "???" Valledor, Diego "Abad Vibes" Abad, Idris "The Babeslayer" Vicuna, Ralph "Lauren" Mendoza
The pogiest one gets the ugliest drawing (me) and the ugliest one gets the best drawing (diego). Idris looks like a tough guy and Ralph looks exactly like Ralph. It would be really cool if we could get some art submissions. Draw us human centipede-ing, or having tabo sex (it's like shower sex but when you use a tabo because you can't afford a shower - I'll get more into this when I make the "Bee Eyes made up slang" post), or as girls with tig ol bitties. You never know, we might include your art in our upcoming ZINE. Be creative because we will make fun of your drawings if they suck. Joke lang (half meant). Can someone answer this question for me. I've always wondered... Are CHOSes half meant when someone is just chossing?
Don't you hate it when random numbers text you about some random ass shit and you can't be bothered because you're too busy pretending to be busy? I don't. I love random texts from random ass people trying to sell me some random ass shit. Screen capped above is a conversation I had with a random ass fool trying to sell me a random ass condo. This is the type of fun you can have if you respond to these random ass messages. I think I even made his day by the end of our conversation.
BROFILES: A LETTER FROM CHIP DELGADO (dated: april 20, 2012)
YO RALPH "LAUREN' MENDOZA. SUP PARE! NICE YOUR BLOG! IT'S ALREADY MY FAVORITE LOCAL BLOG. MUCH LOVE AND SUPPORT PARE. YOU'RE REALLY MY BEST HIPSTER FRIEND. EVERYONE ELSE POSES LANG. TANGINA, DID YOU SEE PEOPLE TWEETING ABOUT COACHELLA LIKE THEY KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING? PARE, I WAS VIP LAST YEAR. NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE MUSIC IT'S ALL ABOUT THE PARTIES BRO. TANGINA THIS GIRL I KNEW FROM BRENT WENT AND WAS INSTAGRAMMING PICS FROM THE FRONT ROW. I WAS BACKSTAGE BITCH! I'M SO SORRY WE DID NOT GET TO GO TO BROCHELLA THIS YEAR. I KNOW I PROMISED YOU LAST YEAR THAT I'D TAKE YOU THIS YEAR BUT MY MOM WAS BEING A BITCH E. I COULDN'T LEAVE THE COUNTRY. THE LINE UP THIS YEAR WAS NOT EVEN THAT GREAT TO BE HONEST SO I'M GLAD WE DIDN'T GO. WHO WANTS TO WATCH RADIOHEAD GET OLD ANYWAY? DID YOU WATCH IT SA WEBSITE? I DID NOT GET TO. I WAS AT ERICA'S NEW PLACE IN DASMA. SHE DOESN'T HAVE NET PA. FUCK DUDE, WE WERE SO WASTED YESTERDAY. WE WALKED TO RUSTANS TO BUY MAGNUMS BUT THEY SOLD OUT SO WE WALKED TO SHELL AND THEY SOLD OUT TOO THEN WE SAW ANTON GETTING GAS SO WE JUMPED IN HIS CAR AND DEMANDED HE TAKE US TO ROCKWELL TO BUY JAPANESE ICE CREAM. WHO NEEDS MAGNUM WHEN YOU HAVE A CAR TO BUY BETTER ICE CREAM SOMEWHERE ELSE? BIG MISTAKE TO HASSLE ANTON. HIS BENZ'S AIRCON WAS BROKEN TANGINA. HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO GETTING IT FIXED. WHEN WE GOT TO ROCKWELL MY NEW SPRING SUMMER 2012 FRED PERRY SHIRT WAS DRENCHED IN SWEAT AND ERICA STANK SO BAD. SHE SMELLED LIKE HER OWN PEKTOT SO WE SPRAYED AXE FOR WOMEN ALL OVER HER BODY THEN GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH THIS LESBIAN LOOKING TITA WITH A LAZY EYE BECAUSE ERICA ACCIDENTALLY SPRAYED HER SHOPPING CART AND THE AXE GOT ON HER STRAWBERRIES DAW. HASSLE. WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO BUY JAPANESE ICE CREAM BECAUSE WE DIDN'T BRING MONEY. HASSLE. I LEFT MY WALLET AT ERICA'S BECAUSE I THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO BRING MONEY BUT SHE DIDN'T BRING HER WALLET EITHER. TANGINA SHE BROUGHT A BAG BUT NO WALLET. HOW STUPID THAT GIRL SOMETIMES. I LOVE HER TO DEATH THOUGH. SHE KEEPS SAYING "LANG ANG PEG" LIKE "SO-AND-SO LANG ANG PEG". IS PEG THE NEW THING? 2010 LANG ANG PEG NG WORD NA PEG. 2000 AND LATE. FILIPINO TIME SLANG. SOBRANG STONED AKO PARE SORRY. REMEMBER OUR DREAM COACHELLA PARE? COACHELLA PHILIPPINES IN HEAVEN: NIRVANA, JEFF BUCKLEY, AMY WINEHOUSE, ELLIOTT SMITH, ERASERHEADS, PAROKYA NI EDGAR, SKYCHURCH, BEE EYES, WYRD, ASIA'S SONG BIRD REGINE VELASQUEZ, SELENA, SHIELA AND THE INSECTS, CANDYAUDIOLINE, HUNGRY YOUNG POETS, APO HIKING, MOSCOW OLYMPICS, ATBP. WHO NEEDS COACHELLA WHEN ALL THE BEST ACTS IN THE WORLD ARE LOCAL. PARE, I JUST CAME UP WITH THE BEST IDEA. WHY DON'T WE USE THE MONEY WE WERE SUPPOSED TO SPEND IN CALIFORNIA TO PRODUCE OUR OWN MUSIC FESTIVAL. IT WILL FEATURE EVERY SINGLE OPM ACT EVER SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME. WE'LL CALL IT BROPM MUSICAL FESTIVAL. WE CAN HAVE IT IN ANGELES CITY AND ALL THE BANDS CAN STAY IN SEEDY MOTELS AROUND THE CITY AND EACH BAND GETS A GRO. I WAS FRIENDS WITH A GRO ONCE. HER NAME WAS BEVERLY. SHE WORKED IN MALATE AT SOME SKETCHY BAR BEHIND CASA ARMAS I FORGOT WHAT IT WAS CALLED. I STOPPED BEING FRIENDS WITH HER BECAUSE SHE SLEPT WITH MY DRIVER AND HE GOT HER PREGNANT THEN SHE STARTED STALKING HIM SO MY LOLO FIRED HIM. REMEMBER NESTOR? HE WAS THE BEST DRIVER. TANGINA, I GET HIGH KAYA IN THE CAR ALL THE TIME AND HE NEVER SAYS ANYTHING TO MY LOLO. I SMOKED HIM OUT ONCE PA NGA E. HE WAS SO STONED. I THINK THAT WAS THE SAME NIGHT HE GOT BEVERLY PREGNANT. PUTANGINA. I'M GOING TO MISS HIM. WE HAVE TO INCLUDE KENYO IN THE BROPM MUSIC FESTIVAL LINE UP IN HIS HONOR. KENYO IS HIS FAVORITE BAND. HE USED TO SING THE SONG SIMULAN NA NATIN IN THE CAR ALL THE TIME. IT'S EVEN THE RING TONE ON HIS NOKIA 3310. HE COMPOSED THE RINGTONE HIMSELF. I DON'T EVEN THINK HE KNOWS ANY OTHER KENYO SONGS. HE JUST REALLY LOVES THIS ONE.
PARE, HAVE YOU SEEN THE MUSIC VIDEO FOR THAT SONG? IT'S CRAZY DUDE. HI-C FROM MOBBSTAR SUCKS SALAD DRESSING CLEAN OFF A CUCUMBER STICK. WILD! THE SONG IS REALLY SEXY THOUGH. IMAGINE YOUR BAND BEE EYES WITH A HOT GIRL SINGING ABOUT THE MOONLIGHT. I THINK YOUR BAND TRIES TO BE LIKE KENYO BUT CAN'T QUITE GET IT UP. JOKE LANG PARE! YOU KNOW I LOVE YOUR BAND. LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE GIGS! YOU SHOULD PLAY AT 19 EAST. THEY HAVE A REALLY GOOD SOUND SYSTEM AND TO DIE FOR LIEMPO.
VISIT ME IN ALABANG SOMETIME OR COME HANG OUT WITH US AT ERICA'S NEW PLACE IN DASMA. SHE HAS A POOL ON THE SECOND FLOOR AND THE CEILING OF THE FIRST FLOOR IS TRANSPARENT. BALLIN'!
HOPE ALL IS WELL. GOOD LUCK SA BLOG. IF YOU'RE NOT TOO BUSY LET'S START A BAND. I CAN PLAY PERCS BRO. WHATEVER MUSIC, WHATEVER TRIP, BASTA "SIMULAN NA NATIN."
PARE, LET'S COVER THAT SONG. HERE ARE THE CHORDS. NOT SURE IF THEY'RE ACCURATE I GOT THEM LANG FROM ULTIMATE-GUITAR.COM.
Intro: E , Bm , E , Bm
E Bm E Bm
Kasalanan bang maglambingan
E Bm E Bm
Ang nagmamahalan, walang pakialam
Simulan, simulan, simulan, simulan
Habang walang nakatingin
Simulan, simulan, simulan, simulan
Bago pa mana may dumating
Simulan, simulan, simulan, simulan
(DO Chords verse I)
Parag kulang mga upuan
Dito na lamang sa aking kandungan
(Chords verse I)
Saksi ang langit lihim ng hangin
Sumpa ko sa buwan di kita pababayaan
STAY GODFEARING ALWAYS,
CHIP "IF I WERE A MYX VJ YOU'D PROBABLY WATCH MYX MORE" DELGADO --- BROTHER OF HOOPS "WHAT'S THE SCOOP?" DELGADO, THE ALABANG STREET BALL LEGEND.
Remember that dude David Elkan who was straight hating on us because he's an envious pussy-ass-bitch that didn't get a free cd when we opened up for the pains of being pure at heart? Turns out he's a snitch-ass-bitch as well. I guess we kind of had it coming. In the Facebook wall correspondence below we tell him to email Subpop and he actually did. BUT IT'S ALL GOOD IN THE HOOD. We don't even use that logo anymore. It wasn't even our "logo". We made it for fun and people dug it. And we're kind of glad we got this letter so thank you David Elkan, you pussy-ass snitch-ass face-too-ugly-to-post-a-picture-of-yourself-on-facebook-ass-bitch! And wasup to our new homies over at Sub Pop Records! Let's put out a 7-inch! Ya'll need that third world edge. HOLLA!
(read this, it's funny. click to enlarge)
I know we promised a reprint of this t-shirt graphic but for all of you who were not able to score a t-shirt from us we are very sorry but we have to abide by Sub Pop's wishes. No worries because we have more awesome t-shirts on the way! Matador Records? Just kidding.
love, bee eyes
(If D. Elks reads this he can't sue us for defamation can he? He totally started it so we can be as mean as we like, right?)
If you're curious you'll come out. I guarantee you will discover something awesome at this show. Just don't be lame and sit around with people you already know. Mingle. Start a mosh pit. Buy a pair of Doc Martens. Support our growing independent music scene by buying our merchandise. Talk to the bands, they're just as broke as you are. BUT DON'T DO DRUGS! WHATEVER YOU DO. DO NOT TAKE ANY DRUGS BECAUSE THERE ARE NARCS ALL OVER THE FORT! The last thing you would want is to get caught by a narc during Ciudad's set. You've been waiting to hear Friday Noon all day and then you decide to pop a V right when they're about to play so you get that floaty feeling when that OOOOOooooo part comes in. Then the narc taps your shoulder like "hey bro, penge ng v's..." then you're like "open up d00d" then he's like "HULI KA" then he makes you call your mom and everyone is circling you pointing and laughing just like in the movies then you puke all over your girlfriend's new docs then you black out and wake up in a jail cell with rapists and thieves who haven't eaten in days and you smell like cool water cologne and leftover pancit canton. You can only imagine what happens next. If you cant, then do it and you'll find out.
We recorded this in my bedroom like 2 weeks ago. Idris was really stoked on it. Just to give you guys a little backstory about the song. The girl in the photo is his girlfriend. She lives in Tokyo. Pretty typical right? WRONG! The twist is... She's a ghost! She died years ago. When Idris and Celene first got together in Singapore we were like WHO THE FUCK IS THIS CHICK? So, like any curious and protective friend, I googled her and found out that this girl has been dead for the past 12 years. My first thought was... WHOA, THIS IS CRAZY! IDRIS SHOULD MAKE A SONG ABOUT THIS. When I told him he started to cry. Luckily I had my iPhone with me and i recorded him crying. What you hear in the song is not a synth. It's Idris crying. Pure raw emotion. A lot of people like to call this song chillwave but i think it has surpassed that trend and is a steady ocean of healthy fish and corals. It's that underwater-alien-temple-island-they-found-in-japan-wave. How's that for a fucking write up?
After spending so much money going to studios and getting nothing done we decided to finally bring it back to the bedroom where everything is free and we have time to really experiment and find the sound we want. We'll post our new song and video at the end of the month. Stay tuned.